Hello There.

Actually how I fell for my bf, was when he said the dorkyest random thing ever.
Well we were playing would you ever and Truth or dare and he yelled 'I'm an animal lover go green enviormental FReak!'
And it was so adorable and dorky.
:)
He really did impress me.

I suppose for everyone to finally reconnect again..
We do have family reunions once a year, though not everyone can make it.

People moved to different states, and I don't know. They just never come back home.
Here with us. I miss them, I didn't see my neices and nephews in early 7 months. Sigh.

Haha. Wow. Okay I supposee...I guess..collecting rocks and drawing faces on them, naming them, and claim them as pets.
haha.

Well I believe hanging out with my crush Steven. xD hahaha.

I suppse t.v.

I would want Everyone to read this.
This is my own personal will...
I suppose I should make one once a year until I die.

Just so my will, is definitly from me. Not a guess on what's for whom kind os situation.

Anywho. I would like to start off with My best friend. Alexa Aube.
Alexa if you are reading this and I am dead I want you to know that I want you to own JROTC. I want you to be the company commanders. I want you to own it. I have been thinking that we do not hate the program. We are just scared to be leaders. It took me a while to figure it out.
I don't want you to quit. Quitting is giving up. Never give up. I know you better than that Alexa. Don't be scared. I am too. I am scared of everything, but I want you to succeed more than me. Also If I am dead if you read this I want you to keep all my Littlest Most valuable possecions. Meaning I want you to keep my laptop. haha. This one heart necklace the krystal gem one. I want you to remember it from me.
Also you can just grab anything from my room and I dont care. I just want you to get something.

For the rest of my friends.
I want you guys to know that I love you. I gave up rotc to be with you guys. I am fighting every ounce inside my gut to stay with you guys for as long as I could. As long as it takes I want you guys to know I love you. I hope I will not die just yet.
Leandra. I want you to trust everyone. Not just adriana and Charlene. I want you to scream it out. Thats my wish.
Charlene no matter what happens promise to stay strong and Think positive. I need you to stay positive.
Adriana I want you to stay the same. You werid crazy Monkey butt. I loove you even though I usually say Mean!
Ha...Well I want you to Admit some secrets. Some that I have a feeling I know.
Well i dont really have much time on this. So anyone else of my friends. I am SOOO sorry.
My deepest regret would be that if I do die and This actually gets out I would want you to know that I love you.
My wishes for each and everyone one of you is on my grave admit one thing. I want you to all think positive.
I want you to rule Punte and Jrotc. And never forget.

Family.

I know I dont show it but I do love you. I have a deep admiration towards you guys. Especially you guys. My older guy cousins.
Ha. I remember growing up and Chasing you around Rj;s house beating Aarick up with a lunchbox. Well I know. I really dont show my graditude or love. But I really do love you. Take anything from my room. Aunties and Uncles. Ha. You guys.
Take care of each other. Protect each other. Never back down.
And I want to admit that everyone of you guys are my rolemodels. Especially you James. I look up to you ever since I was little.
n a good way. I will be looking down and watching you. I will protect you if i do die.

Melody Mom Dad

MELODY TALK TO THE FAMILY!
Gosh. How many years. Do not edit that out. Mom...Let dad have some space...Dad Please calm down. You guys should get your own vacation. Seperately. Melody as a wish I want you to CALM DOWN. I request Anger management and you CAN NOT WILL NOT AND WONT get anything from me UNTIL you have been cured. That would only be resoulved by my dad. And he is the guy you tortued.
Mom. Relax a bit more. Dad you seem more tense. Mom you should help him on that. Mom he works 24/7. You only work for a couple hourse. He has to deal with Melody. You don't do much.

Summary.
I love you. No matter who is reading this.



I am writing this because well I have a feeling somthing bad is going to happen

Well thinkng back, Why was I even scared of JROTC? I mean like the physical requirements yes, to me seemed impossiable especially at my 'Lack of abilities...' though I went thru with it. Now that my motivation (Alexa) is gone..what is pushing me thru Jrotc? I set the exapmpe for my cadets because I have a friend that I care about. I am not alone. Now that I am who am I going to go with copmmunity serviece? whos my partner in crime? Who? D: Man..This sucks...I have no idea what to do...

Also in further notice I am trying to stay away from myspace and aim and gaia. I am like serious on avoiding John Tran. Yes. That MCJROTC nerd whos worships at her feet miss Irish Hazel Flipe. Whom of which he dreams and cherises. xD Its gets sooo annoying when I have to talk to him, as he speaks of his fantasys with her. Also the tearing rip that spreads them apart. SHE doesnt like him.xD She is in love with his best friend Chrstian whom f which was irishs best friend eunice ex boyfriend...Wow..This was interesting.

Hmm...IN further news. I also have developed a strong senseof hate towards Alyana this past year. Interesting. For many reasons, I dislike he because of mainly 3 facts. To begin her looks. She bribes people by flirting with them to get what she wants...Whore. Two, she has an attitude problem. She yelled at my friends friend in order to get her way. Three, she uses people. Hoeee.
Gosh I dispise her existance. She shouldnt have won the BEST CADET medal D:

It was rigged...Gilchrist should have won that medal.
Then Alexa. Then Me Then Eunice Then ALYANa. Again she was last place...Fucker.


Alas she won overall because she has legs that help her out. And not just by walking. o-o;
Eh...I know

Honestly.. I would donate half the money to Nursing homes,
and schools. To begin, I believe nursing homes need better activities.
The seniors are treated like children, there. Its..depressing. I wish I could help.
I do, as much as I can by voulentering but that isn't enough. I wish to give that money to them
just to boost up thier spirts. Also, to schools, because I believe it will help everyone out evenutually.
I don't have the time to finish.

Sigh the inevitable moment I have waited for years came to an abrute flash within my eyes.
Why?
A picture of you and me lay beside my left hand cringing over it.
Blood splatters over the frame, tears falling out of my blurry sight jumping towards the earth.
EDIT::

Im mad.

At chris and bryce.
Errrr.

Thats all i got to say.

Life takes your dreams &
turns them upside down; friends talk about you when you're not around.
People make promises they just can't keep, & I've come to realize
that talk is cheap. To often we don't realize what we have until it's
gone; to often we wait to long to say "I'm sorry, I was wrong" if we
don't life turns into a big blur, filled with
drama,emotion,&despare. 

I guess with my grandpa. You see, he died a few months before i was born so it would be nice to see how hes like.
I would want to eat at...I dont know...Here I guess.

I know it sounds really wierd but every time b4 i fall i sleep i write and my arm, and write down me and my bf 4ever....idk y it became a habit?

I feel SO SPECIAL!! Almost everyone from my family is flying in just to see me graduate!
My awesome uncle(whom i didnt see since i was 8 but kept in touch on phone) is coming =].
My cousins are also flying in from Tennesse, Texas, And Kansas, to see me too!! <3<3 

Honestly at first i didn't really care if i graduate or not, because i thought no one would really care. But now to think of it I am so glad I actually did it! I am actually graduating and all these people i dearly love are coming to see me be happy. I love them all. 

The estatic flash of fast blood racing through my vains, are caused by even thinking of the very moment i cross that lovely stage . The wonderful rush its pounding through my system and is breaking my organs. It hurts so bad, but I love it.

And to everyone that is going to see me graduate, I love you guys!!

 Ronalds house for the after party.

My   My most famous clothing store i will make one day ;)

 in school-More free time =]
in work-more money <3
in home-more personal time

  I was actually really excited, And honeslty I didnt really miss my family as much as I thought i would . I Left california to Virginia, about 3 weeks ago, and it was actually really fun ^^. The emotions running through my head, felt unreal, and my adreanaline raced through my vains, when i went away. But when i came back everything felt like a blur, but it feels good to be home :)

 I actually have alot of secrets like that. Um....I guess I would have to say my crush?
I never told anyone excpet my whole group and they are associated with another group and another and another. 
Yes, now he knows. He has a girlfriend and its going well, :( so i guess some things have to happen for a reason.

That moment i said no.